International Zombie Relations

After last night's game night turned economic and political discussion at itty bitty group (too few people to qualify as "small"), I thought this article fitting and somewhat hilarious. It is an educational and sobering look at international relations approaches in a zombie outbreak. The author, Daniel Drezner, selects a few choice theories (structural realism, neoconservatism, etc) and explores how a society, or leader of a society, from the chosen school of thought would approach dealing with, aligning, or attacking zombies.

If you were to ask me how a liberal institutionist differs from a neoconservatist, I would smile and quickly change the subject. Because that smile would be about the limit of my knowledge on the subject. However, I feel as outlandish as this zombie scenario may be, it is an excellent entry point for someone like me who wants to know more but feels any approach to these theories would be tantamount to climbing Mount Everest - possible, but arduous and potentially fatal. The zombies also allow for the discussion to be simpler than a discussion of US relations with Iran, for instance. By using zombies instead of a current country or people group, a person is able to step back and look at the whole picture and learn that maybe, just maybe, some of the things we thought our country, or other countries, were doing rightly in regard to international relations may not be as peachy keen as it seems.

So, if there were a zombie outbreak, what would you want your government to do in response?

It's a Miracle!

...or just about as close to one as I can manage. I have found the ultimate carpet/upholstery stain remover you have never heard of. First, a little story.

A long, long time ago (last year) in a land far, far away (Aaron's place), I sat down with Aaron for a lovely dinner in front of the television. We were to dine on a pasta concoction while no doubt watching a riveting and thought-provoking film. Realizing I was needing a napkin, I arose and went forth to attain said prize. Before attainment and long-lasting happiness occurred, though, I toppled Aaron's full glass of cranberry juice on the carpet in a projectile pattern as experts in the field of blood spatter may see at their jobs. I do believe my face was about the hue of the split juice. We tried to sop up as much as possible, using damp rags to get the multiple spots out, but to no avail. And, ever since then, I have looked upon those spots as a visible manifestation of all my clumsy shortcomings...the ones that are never cute or endearing, but always annoying and testy.

Cut to two weekend when, having nothing better to do other than clean my place up, I decided instead to clean Aaron's place. I know, it may not make much sense to some to avoid cleaning my casa but being perfectly happy doing so to another's, but that is how this mind works. I faced my foe, my shame, with powerful tools. First, the much touted Resolve High Traffic Foam Cleaner. I followed the directions, waited 15 minutes, then vacuumed up the foam to reveal...the same spots.

Enter the mystery stain remover. I sprayed it on the spots, then started scrubbing them with an old toothbrush then dabbing with a dry washcloth. A few minutes and some elbow grease later - no more spots. After about a year of cranberry juice and dirt caking on the carpet, it looked like that fateful day never occurred. Such relief to know the carpet guilt trip is gone!

So, what is this mystery remover? Method Go Naked All Surface Cleaner. I wish I could take credit for this discovery, but I read about it on some other website whose address has been long forgotten but fondly remembered. I do not know how it does it or what magic potion Method put in this bottle, but I plan on having this puppy on standby forever. It faced a worthy foe in cranberry juice, but completely dominated the competition, not even giving the stain a moment of relief. If I could fashion a little cape for my Go Naked cleaner bottle, I would. It's my hero!

(A whole post about guilty spots and not one Lady McBeth reference? I am not sure whether to be ashamed or proud of myself.)

GANC: Lonesome Dove

What a refreshing book to read after last month's literary aerobics. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry is my second book in The Great American Novel Challenge. This book may never be on many lists as one of the great novels in American history, but I fear that is only because it is not steeped in heavy prose and a dictionary of multi-syllabic vocabulary. Instead it is built in an unpretentious style that welcomes the reader in as a fellow traveler. Lonesome Dove exemplifies everything I feel a great American novel should contain. It has action, adventure, exploration, romance, murder, tall tales, moral dilemmas, humor, strong characters (I dare you to find a weakly written character in the whole bunch). At times I question the true success or value of list-topping items or award winners, but this novel definitely deserves its 1986 Pulitzer Prize.

At its most basic, this is a book about a cattle drive from south Texas north to Montana. It follows a crew of men (and a woman) - a mix of Texas Rangers, greenhorns, and immigrants - as they go north, encounter old friends and enemies, make new ones on both counts and try to survive all nature throws at them. This novel sets the cowboy stereotype on its head. The former Texas Rangers steal horses and cattle, the Mexicans in the outfit are hard-working and wise, and the women are more than a person who cries and waves good-bye when their men leave for the cattle drive. Every hero is flawed, the good guys die sometimes, the reader cares about the bad guys and, above all, there is heart. There is a refreshing transparency to many of the characters - they speak their minds and never once does McMurtry write one of them expressing him or herself in a manner out of character. Even the in the most guarded or hardened of people, those small cracks are written in their story such that humanity shines through.

In a greater sense, though, this is a book about self-discovery. Men and women seeking out what they have longed for, whether it be a lost relationship, a new start in life, respect among peers, closure, reconciliation. It must be difficult to fit so many personal discoveries into a book, but McMurtry accomplishes it with seamless fluidity. Nothing is pressured or jumps out as out of context or character. Nor does self revelation upon self revelation stack atop one another. It, much like the rivers theses men cross, meanders and roams, bending one way then another, cutting a new path with a sudden flood. I by no means imply that this is a book where, to borrow a Western film stereotype, the black hats lose and the white hats win every time. As I mentioned earlier, the good guys die in the book - due to past mistakes, wrong allegiances, stubbornness, and the natural dangers of the frontier. However, for the most part, each is allowed his own closure, though it may not be of the kind he wanted for himself.

To me though, that is what made the epic story all the more personal, even beyond sympathizing in the loss of comrades or the joy of reunion. When a sandstorm kicks up on the cattle drive, you as the reader feels the stinging grains on your cheek and the glass shard particles in your eyes. When some of the outfit must decide whether to hang one of their own for murder, you agonize over the decision with them. When frontier surgeries are performed, you are right there with them wincing and feeling queasy. And so, in your own way, as a reader you too are on a journey of self-discovery.

If I have left any doubt, let me state it clearly here - this is most assuredly and positively one of the greatest American novels I have had the joy to read. I would place it on the shelf with Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, To Kill a Mockingbird, Little Women and others as a book I would relish escaping with time and time again and point to as an excellent window in to superb, if fictional, Americans.

Great American Novel Challenge Booklist:
July 2009: Absalom, Absalom! - William Faulkner, publ. 1936